A Failed Marriage and Broken Bonds Mended Through Pickleball

Divorce is a word that carries heavy weight, and for my family, it marked the beginning of a journey defined by challenges and failures.

My parents split when I was very young, and from that point on, it felt as if my family had fractured into two distinct worlds. Holidays were celebrated separately, birthdays split between two sides, and love felt stretched thin. In my eyes, we were a failed family—far from the picture-perfect image I had always dreamed of.

As I navigated my childhood and adolescence, the divide between my mom’s side and my dad’s side grew more pronounced. Each family operated as if the other didn’t exist, creating a void that was palpable.

My mom, a selfless individual, dedicated herself to helping others, often at the expense of her own happiness. I often wondered if she even knew what she liked anymore. In this environment of unspoken tension, I found my escape in a simple pickleball paddle.

A Shared Passion

What started as a personal interest soon became a lifeline. To my surprise, my dad expressed interest in joining me. Then, my mom, who had always put everyone else's needs first, decided to pick up a paddle as well. It was a small step, but it was significant. Soon enough, my stepdad and my dad's wife joined in, too.

Suddenly, we were all together—not just as separate families, but as one. That day, I stood on the court, watching as my parents—once so distant—laughed and enjoyed a game side by side. For the first time in my life, I saw my mom and dad in the same space, genuinely connecting over something as simple as a game.

Embracing "Fail First"

This experience embodied the theme of "fail first." It was only after recognizing the dysfunction and the reality of our failed family dynamic that we could begin to create a new path. On my 28th birthday, my family finally came together.

For the first time, we did something together as a whole family. We played pickleball and went out to dinner—a casual, joyful outing that marked a significant shift in our dynamic. From that day forward, we began to build new memories together. Christmases became joint celebrations, and family dinners turned from rare occurrences into cherished traditions.

Rediscovering Joy

Perhaps the most beautiful transformation came from my mom. Through pickleball, she discovered something she truly loves.

Now, 3-4 days a week, she dedicates herself to playing with a group of friends. It’s been incredible to watch her come alive, her laughter echoing on the court as she bonds with her new teammates. For a woman who spent years prioritizing everyone else's needs, finding a passion of her own has been an amazing transformation.

The sense of community she’s found among fellow players has become an integral part of her life, fostering connections that extend beyond the court.

Building Community

This sense of community isn’t limited to my mom. Pickleball has a unique way of bringing people together, creating camaraderie among players of all ages and backgrounds. The sport fosters an environment where competition is present, but encouragement is abundant.

It’s a place where people come not just to play but to connect, support one another, and build meaningful relationships.

This communal spirit played a vital role in our family’s healing process, showing how shared interests can bridge divides and transform lives. Through pickleball, I also met the most incredible person who has become a valued part of my life, for which I will be forever grateful.

The Journey Forward

Looking back, I realize that sometimes, things must fall apart before they can come together. Pickleball became our common ground, a bridge connecting two divided families. It taught us how to have fun together, communicate openly, and support one another through shared failures and triumphs.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, feeling like your family is broken beyond repair, remember that embracing failure can lead to unexpected growth. My family’s story is a testament to the power of connection, resilience, and the ability to redefine what it means to be a family.

As we continue to play together, I am filled with hope and gratitude for how far we've come. What once felt like a failure has turned into a beautiful, if unconventional, family dynamic.

It reminds me that love and connection can thrive even in the most unexpected circumstances and that sometimes, all it takes is a paddle—and a willingness to fail first—to change everything.

Through the community we've built around pickleball, we've not only healed but found joy in the journey together.

This article was written by Nicole Aquillo, a member of the Fail First Team.

About the Fail First Project: The Fail First Podcast unites athletes, coaches, entrepreneurs, and other professionals, fostering meaningful conversations about resilience and growth.

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